Oh how I wish this wasn't based on experience =) Although as part of my New Year health kick I've vowed to drink less and exercise more. Both are doing very well... although I note it's only January 11th! However nothing really beats being able to walk home with a bit more grace and sophistication than usual so I'm hoping to keep this one going. Have written the following to remind myself that this is a very good thing. Anyway, I hope your resolutions are going well too - what did you resolve for 2011, if anything??
CJ x
In the dead of night.
The clacker of the cobbles
Against my stiletto heels,
Shatters the silence,
Filling it with echoes,
Like a ghostly horse's tap dance.
Bubbles tickle my cold nose,
As a tipsy hiccup surfaces,
With the grace of a drunken goat,
I stumble with a scrape,
Catching my tumble,
Before it has the chance to happen.
Creeping smile spreads out,
Across my rosy, amused cheeks,
At the hilarity of it all,
Unthinkable unbalancing,
And a swagger like a thug,
Wearing challenging skyscraper shoes.
Unbearable hunger surfaces,
Like a demon with unstoppable venom,
Fixed focus now on a single goal,
And not one for the diet,
As I change the route,
And head off towards the Saturday sin-cabin...
Fried stuff.
Fail.
Submitted to One Stop Poetry's One Shot Wednesday
29 comments:
I resolved not to wish what I can't have - this is a big start.
I don't drink and you'll never see me in high heels, but it's a clear picture you deliver in your poem of a disaster these two together can cause. =)))
Nicely done, beautifully built.
Kiss you girl. =*
I think we've ALL been here and hun, it doesn't get better with age! Loved the humour here...a fry up after drinking is a must...I still do it!
Brilliant. Loving your work by the way.
Oh my, this brought back a memory or two...I like it :-)
It was amusing and I remember the same walk home but I removed my heels.. pinching my toes they were..
I've done this walk in January, barefoot no less (it was raining in In winter in Michigan, strange, no?). And yes, I giggled as I stumbled, and yes, this poem is very apt.
oh i have made that walk in my day...so i can smile and appreciate...nice one shot!
Effective imagery in a well written piece. The line "With the grace of a drunken goat," creates a stark, interesting image. Very nicely done!
Loved your images. You helped me walk through right with you. Loved your mix of truth and humor. xoxo
I just promised myself I'd keep on walking (in any kind of shoes that fit..long past the age of higher heels) and that I'd give myself the treat of living. I think this girl has a bit more living it up to do. I say go live! And enjoy. Well written.
Thanks, Gay @beachanny
It all sets up those last three words, which are nothing but priceless!
Beautiful - this really made me smile - I know the feeling
Well I am with you...you go girl...strength in numbers - just keep writing about it and write your self right into being healthier...it really does help...thank you for all your kind comments at my site...blessings..b.km
Well now that's quite a way to kick off the year...always betted those high heels were a bit tricky at times like that! I know running in that state's always a treat...entertaining piece, good bit of humor and a clear image.
I would recommend cutting "amused" from the fourth stanza, though. Or swapping it for something else perhaps, but for me, with the comma there and then that...it seems sort of choppy, disrupts the flow much of the rest of the piece maintained for me. That's my opinion anyhow, take it as you will.
And fail just reminds me of the year past...oh so many younglings, spouting "Fail" at everything they did...thank you internet. Wondering if that trend'll continue now that the new year's come through...or something new. C'est la vie! Great work, and thanks for sharing!
No resolutions for me... too many fails. Reminds me of a night on 8-inch platform shoes and crutches...
Unique use of language and imagery here, really caught my attention. And the ending? Perfect.
Very much interesting! great writing! lovely imagery and way to go with the ending :) i make very few resolutions and try to hold on to them..usually i fail too! but hope never fades..Excellent one shot!
yep...been here and those damn high heels on cobbled street sure do cause me problems..LOL
seriously though enjoy the poem..and good luck with maintaining the resolution..
must admit i didnt make any..i was always someone that would go against what he was being told..so the best thing for me is to not make one and then i wont not break it!!!
Truth told in the simplest and most magical way - love it! @farflungstar
Yes. I can relate to this, maybe a bit too much (sans the stiletto heels). Did you really have to remind me? I imagine a drunken goat can be quite adorable.
all too easy to identify with you here! love the line "Catching my tumble, Before it has the chance to happen."-- neatly put. luck with the resolutions!
oh i was walking right next to you...always trying to stay balanced. great write!
Sounds like a One Stop Poetry party would definitely be a good one from all these comments! Especially the crutches story...! Good luck with any resolutions you have too =] CJx
Oh, this is familiar!
Its been so nice being here.. I liked it so much...
ॐ नमः शिवाय
Om Namah Shivaya
http://shadowdancingwithmind.blogspot.com
Twitter @VerseEveryDay
An enjoyable poem with a truly great first stanza. Terrific.
Love the progression of this... well done. Good luck in sticking to the walk. I gave resolutions a lot of thought, but did not come up with specifics. Everything I was pondering was much more abstract than exercise or breaking habits.
Relatable, in a differentiated way. Good stuff.
This poem is great...congratulations on your resolution but, in my opinion, all such are made to be broken!!
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